Authour Linda Wooten once said: “being a mother is about learning about strengths you didn’t know, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.”

 

But what happens when your health takes an expected dip while you have your children to take care of? That is the predicament that Sylvia Moseme has to undergo, having to go under the knife to help correct her long standing eyes issue of blurred vision which is called keratoconus. 

 

Keratoconus is a condition in which one’s eye’s cornea is unable to hold its round shape – causing an extreme blurry vision. This condition has progressively become worse on both eyes prompting her to go for surgery one eye at a time. She is currently under recovery.

 

And her health is a priority, the 32-year-old health professional is a mother of two beautiful children: a six year old boy and a 14-month old girl whom she feels is missing out on so much of their lives while also trying to get better. 

 

But the reality is that this procedure had to happen now or risk the possibility of forever depending on hard contact lenses that hurt her eye constantly and having her vision deteriorate over time. This is a very difficult time of her, she shares.

 

 

 

 

“This condition has gotten so bad that I knew I had to get the cornea transplant. The contact lenses are not a permanent solution because they only last for 3 hours, meaning I’d need to change them constantly. I work for 12 hours, I am a mother 24 hours a day and I need my vision in perfect state.

 

“It is very difficult having to take care of my children and that is why I had to move back home to get help from my mother, although my fiancé is available to help. But even with her help, it is only fair that I help her too because  at least I can see a little, I am not blind blind. The only thing I can see is colours but won’t see faces properly,” she added.

 

The professional nurse, who is originally from Lesotho but currently resides in South Africa, has had to uproot her children back to her childhood home  – a necessary huge adjustment that has not only affected her but her son too.    

 

“So most of the time I sleep with my daughter because I want to lend a helping hand to my mother because she is growing old now and has my other 6-year-old to help out with. So it becomes a problem when I have to make her bottle milk or feed her because I sometimes can’t find the lid at night or I spill the milk which is very frustrating.

 

“I am so used to my independence that this slight inconvenience has been a hard knock at my confidence as a mother,” she shares.

 

 

 

 

But as a resilient mother who has her own emotions to deal with everyday while trying to get better, she stands on the point that she will forever try her best for her children because “I am mother at the end of the day.” 

 

“When my son comes back with homework, I am unable to help him. I am missing out on seeing my daughter’s cute growing face, her giggles and her dimples because of blurry vision. It is really challenging and has affected my mental health. I am currently taking antidepressant medication every night. 

 

“Having had the taste of motherhood in my son’s life, being an independent woman and ultimately feeling this stuck, I feel robbed of those genuine life experiences and that of motherhood.”

 

And like any other mother who is their children’s role model, managing her emotions in front of her two little ones has become a big part of her journey. Trying her best to give them all the love, even while fighting her own issues.  

 

“And while my youngest doesn’t notice  thing, it is my 6-year-old who sees that I am not okay. He tells his school teachers and friend that I am sad, that I can’t see properly and it is visible that he is being affected because he doesn’t understand why. Now that affects me even more because I love my children so much, I would do anything to protect them. Now I feel stuck and it is frustrating,” she added. 

 

 

 

 

But with everything that is happening,  the beautiful mommy is making sure that her presence is felt in their lives is of the utmost importance for her. It is her children who have given her purpose.

 

“I have found new found strength to fight because of my children. I tried committing suicide twice before because of this condition but since having my children – I have found hope. They have saved me. Motherhood is the most anointed responsibility that has been bestowed upon us and I am fighting everyday to live for them. 

 

“Other mothers must know that they have the power to make it work. They need to draw strength from their children and know that every condition has its own challenges. But don’t give up, have hope that this is what life throws at us but we have the power to overcome it. It will get better,” she said. 

 

Batswadi Magazine would like to wish Syliva and all mothers who find themselves battling with their health (and life challenges) a speedy recovery. Godspeed!