At the dawn of parenthood, Bonko and Lesego Khoza have seamlessly adapted to the beautiful chaos that accompanies the arrival of a new baby, with this new journey beckoning them to embrace the profound responsibility that lies ahead. Since welcoming their baby seven months ago, the couple describe the journey as a learning and growing experience.

 

As this little family dashes in from their Cape Town trip just minutes before our interview, plunging down on their couch, their little bundle of joy is quick to show affection to both parents, flitting from dad to mom and then back to dad again.

 

From the outside looking in, it is hard to imagine them (Bonko and Lesego) without their little Ama (full name Amahubo Amahle which means Beautiful Psalms). As if she had always been there, but as you look closer, you realize how their daughter is an extension of their love that the public has come to hear, see, and experience from the pair. Their love now lives outside their hearts, literally.

 

“Being a first-time parent is a pleasure,” describes Lesego. “For me, it all depended on where I was in life for it to be nice. I don’t think if I were younger, I’d have such a nice experience of it.”

 

Ama came just a few weeks before Bonko had to go shoot his latest eight-part Showmax series, Red Ink. Separating from his daughter so early on in her little life was a challenge for the star (just by virtue of the job), but everything else about having a child has been a blessing.

 

“Mom and dad will naturally always have two different experiences of parenthood,” shares Bonko. “For me, fatherhood has been a blessing thus far where I understand love more deeply. The concept of love has become a little more colorful in its shape and form. Between my wife and I, we’ve always had romantic love for the longest time, and obviously, before now, I understood the different forms that love can take.

 

“But now, this love is different. It almost feels nurturing and patient, and while also ticking all the boxes of all the other loves that exist (friendship, intimacy, family), and yet it feels a little different. Because she (Ama) loves without even understanding the definition, you have to reciprocate that love while also going through your own redefinition of it. Understanding it for yourself,” he adds.

Their bouncy daughter came right as Lesego was on a spiritual and mental break from work and upon realization that they had conceived, she decided to extend her time off because she had always known that she wanted to be there almost full-time for the first six months of her child’s life.

 

The pair, being raised in two different family dynamics—with Bonko raised by both his parents and Lesego coming from a divorced home, with her parents separating when she was 16 years old—share that they have always been conscious of the type of home they want to raise their children in.

 

“I never thought I wanted kids, especially coming from the home that I come from. I was the firstborn child which meant being responsible for the others, and moreover, I’d hear my mother say, ‘Don’t have kids. Kids ruin marriages’,” she said, laughing. “And she would say this when you messed up so I really wasn’t interested. Meeting the right person can sortachange that perception, but I think now in hindsight, my experience has taught me what not to do, while Bonko comes from a place of knowing what to do. We are very aware of what parenting looks like for us,” she said.

 

Bonko adds, “Maybe I might be delusional, but I believe that most kids are a result of a quality of life. She (Ama) wasn’t a mistake because mom and dad were already in place. Having kids wasn’t really about the kids first, but more about the quality of life that she came out of, and that is where Lesego and I are constantly in parallel because we share the same vision of what a good life is. We share the same values and principles, and therefore the decision of having kids has less to do with the direct influence of how we were raised but is more about having a shared vision of life. Whether that was inspired by trauma or you were brought to it through an inspirational life, we just happen to want the same things.”

 

Lesego emphatically adds that they did not want kids to be the reason why they got married but rather wanted to get married because they genuinely loved each other, “and then together build this family afterwards,” she said while Bonko gazed at her, obviously smitten.

 

The colourful actor reveals that he once had a dream that he’d have a daughter, but when it came down to it, he had limited expectations towards the gender. Lesego, on the other hand, wanted a boy child but wasn’t all disappointed at welcoming their daughter.

“Apart from the fact that I come from an all-girl home, I always wondered what it would be like to have two boys who are head-over-heels in love with me. That would be so nice,” she said, laughing.

Bonko, on the other hand, is living the dream.

“They look exactly the same; I was cheated in terms of features,” he said, before bursting into laughter with his wife. “On a serious note, I love it because when I see them together, I feel like God gave me two of the people that I love so much.”

 

It is at that moment that Bonko jumps to grab a picture of Lesego from when she was young.

 

“I basically get to almost see what Lesego was like growing up, and because of this, she will never get old to me. There will always be a younger version of her in front of me and I think I am so blessed to have two loves-of-my-life who are almost identical. I love how Lesego is so natural at this parenting thing.”

 

Lesego shares how Bonko is a hands-on dad who is making his presence felt in his child’s life.

“It’s amazing to see him in love with another human that I also love so much. When she gets excited to see him, I’m like, ‘Oh girl, I love him too’,” she said again laughing.

 

“I can walk around the mall as if I don’t have a baby, because he takes over almost every single aspect when he is around. He knows where everything is, and I can leave for days knowing that he can take care of Ama. He knows the baby equally as someone who is around her 24/7 like me. I am always in awe of how attentive he is and how he never misses a moment, even when he has work to juggle. He is always here,” she said lovingly.

 

The pair recently celebrated their three year wedding anniversary and have been together for 11 years.