While some love stories are loud and fleeting, others, like Bonko and Lesego Khoza’s, are quiet flames that burn steadily through seasons of change. Their love is anchored in friendship, nurtured by time, and lit by divine timing.

 

After eight years of dating and four years of marriage, theirs is a bond marked by gentleness, laughter, and a truckload of intention. A connection so rooted, it feels more like home than happenstance. In every glance, in every shared silence, they show us what it means to love with patience, purpose and profound joy.

 

Today, the couple are proud parents to their baby girl, Amahubo Amahle—her name meaning “beautiful psalms”. A living, breathing symbol of their ever-growing love and a beautiful added dimension to their relationship that has further stretched them, they admit.

 

Parenthood, they say, hasn’t changed their love—it’s expanded it. And at the centre of it all remains their unshakable bond.

 

We sat down with the couple to talk about the heartbeat of their relationship, their views on Black love, and what keeps them choosing each other—day after day.

 

 

BATSWADI: MANY PEOPLE PICK UP ON YOUR INCREDIBLE CHEMISTRY, AND THE TEAM NOTICED IT TOO DURING YOUR COVER SHOOT. WOULD YOU SAY FRIENDSHIP IS THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR MARRIAGE?

(resounding) Yes.

Lesego: Friendship is a big, big foundation for us. I always say it’s nice to be in a relationship with someone you like. You like hanging out together, giving each other compliments, and just enjoying each other’s vibe. When you like each other, the chemistry will always just be there.

 

Bonko: It’s a big part of it. It has to be. We never intended it to be that way, but we were always just close friends. We’ve always just gotten along. Laughter plays a huge role as well—joy.

 

BATSWADI: LET’S START AT THE VERY BEGINNING, WHEN YOU MET AT DRAMA SCHOOL. CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST MEETING—WHAT WAS THAT MOMENT LIKE?

Bonko: How we met, for me, was nothing short of a love-at-first-sight story—an instant and overwhelming rush of joy that washed over me the moment I laid eyes on Lesego. It was like an almost divine, out-of-your-control moment…My life flashed before my eyes and I saw a future I never imagined come alive.

 

When that happens, you just want to get to know this person more. To discover what that feeling means. You try to pursue a relationship with that person. You want to know them, to figure out what that experience was about—and that’s exactly what my first moment felt like.

Lesego: For me, it was truly love at first sight. The feeling is like, yho, this person just made me smile. Looking at this person and smiling for no reason – which is the feeling. The experience is seeing this person and smiling; you get to know them, and then you smile even more. Like a permanent smile.

 

For me, you were a dream come true, but not a deliberate dream that I wrote down. You are something that is good for me, and that is my experience with you.

 

BATSWADI: WAS THERE A MOMENT YOU KNEW THAT THIS WAS IT—THAT YOU’D FOUND YOUR LIFE PARTNER?

Lesego: It all started with a feeling. What we did was stay together for seven of those twelve years and I think there’s just this feeling that came that felt permanent. It felt like home. And all we had to do was the logistics that branded it permanent. Marriage, in its labeling, is how to put a stamp on this permanency, but the feeling must exist. And we lived in that feeling for such a long time that we just knew.

 

Bonko: I think after a certain time, after a fair amount of time, you realise one day that ‘man, this person has been through a lot with me.’ You start to realise that I deserve to be with this person, and vice versa. We’ve been through so much together that we deserved each other. You offer them a piece of yourself in that moment.

 

BATSWADI: WHAT’S SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE EARLY DAYS TOGETHER THAT STILL MAKES YOU SMILE EVEN TODAY?

Bonko: That we are still close. Our relationship and friendship is still intact.

Lesego: Also, that feeling that we felt at first sight is still there. It’s still as fresh as it was 12 years ago. When I look at you, I still giggle inside and get to say, ‘My man’. [bursting out into laughter]

 

BATSWADI: WHAT HAS KEPT YOUR LOVE STRONG FOR OVER A DECADE, ESPECIALLY DURING BUSY SEASONS AND PARENTING?

Bonko: Quality time is key. We are intentional with that time, finding ways to spend more time together. Baby will, at times, be at granny’s place, just for us to refuel our love and connection. To catch up and see how we can support each other. So it is those dinner dates, lunches and breakfasts on a Sunday.

 

BATSWADI: HOW DO YOU DEFINE BLACK LOVE?

Lesego: Black love means being strong together. It’s a celebration of Black people, showing that we can be fruitful and that we can still keep it within the family. [She says with a giggle.]

 

My love for Blackness—for being this bold Black woman—has extended to this desire of building a healed and thriving legacy of this Black love. That desire is all anchored in pride. Pride in who we are as a people, pride in our cultures—and that’s why it was always important for me to marry within my race. To help build this narrative of pride.

 

Bonko: Black love is as good as any other love. Yes, Black people have a history and trauma as a people, but I want our love—Lesego’s and mine—to prove that we can be the healed version. A version that is able to love each other unconditionally.

 

Quite recently I’ve had people throw divorce stats at me, and while I don’t ignore them, I still ask, “Whoa, what’s that got to do with me?” I intend to proudly inspire Black men to be faithful, to love out loud, and to love sincerely.

 

There’s now a wave—a culture—that’s a detriment to Black love. A culture that tries to put a wedge between this love. But my mission, beyond loving my wife sincerely, is to represent a love that is healed from its own traumas.

Black love is a love that is strong, proud, faithful, and healed from its own traumas.

 

BATSWADI: DO YOU FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR BEING SEEN AS A SYMBOL OF BLACK LOVE?

Bonko: We don’t assume the responsibility of being the beacon of hope for Black love. That’s a hectic responsibility. We’re just two individuals in love and documenting that love.

 

We are very grateful and blessed to be seen as that, but at the end of the day, we are just being ourselves. I am just loving Lesego the best way I understand the definition of love, and she reciprocates that in her best way.

 

BATSWADI: WHO DO YOU LOOK UP TO IN LOVE?

Bonko & Lesego: We admire couples like Tony and Sthandiwe Kgoroge and Bontle and Priddy Ugly. Just two of the many individuals who are inspired by their love for each other—without trying too much.

 

BATSWADI: HOW DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER SUPPORT EACH OTHER IN SUCH A PUBLIC-FACING INDUSTRY?

Bonko: In the industry, it is standing up for each other, protecting each other, and affirming each other in public. Most times, if your life is not in the public, you don’t have to make that conscious decision. But because we both work in the public, it’s also great to affirm each other in that way as well.

 

BATSWADI: WHAT HAS IT BEEN LIKE TO DATE, GROW AND GET MARRIED WHILE NAVIGATING THE INDUSTRY?

Bonko: Well, we’ve only been in the industry after we’ve been together for a couple of years. I’d say only getting married was the only thing that happened when we were actively in the industry and not trying to pursue it (which is the other years). And it’s been okay. I think all those years prior gave us the wisdom and calmness and the connection for us to not be swayed or think too much about what the industry has to say.

 

Lesego: We are still doing us. We are still true to who we are; we are not fighting to showcase who we are but are just doing what we love, what we are comfortable with in the comfort of our home. We don’t bring the industry home.

BATSWADI: ANY ADVICE FOR THOSE NAVIGATING LOVE TODAY?

Bonko: Thandanani bafwethu (love each other, guys). Love each other with truth. Love your person. Don’t listen to the hype. Don’t listen to your friends. Listen to your heart, which will be guided by God. Stay away from places that will test your commitment.