“Whenever I have conversations with my male counterparts within the industry, especially those who are raised by single mothers, I ask them, ‘What did your mom say to you that made you believe that you can be great?

“Most of them will always say, ‘My mom hyped me up every single day’. That is the mother I am and always want to be to my son, so he knows that he is loved and that he can be anything that he wants to be in life.”

 

These are the words shared by doting mother, singer/songwriter Busiswa, as she shares her experiences of raising her 6-year-old, whom she also labels as her best friend. “For real,” she said before giggling at the thought of her very bubbly son.

 

The 35-year-old is not only thriving in her career as a musician but is also flourishing as the mommy to baby Kgosi, a journey that has brought so much joy that having another child is not a far-off idea.

 

“My son is a boisterous boy, very articulate, and very talkative. When we had loadshedding, we would sit alone together and talk for four hours straight; that’s how talkative he is. I made it a point never to belittle his thoughts or ideas,” said the adoring mother.

 

The muso was raised predominantly by women, attributing a lot of who she is to her mother and her maternal grandmother’s contributions. Her mother had her at 18 years old, at a time when she was also trying to figure herself out and find her space in the world, which meant living in different places at a time.

 

Her grandmother, therefore, became her solid foundation, describing both women as fearless leaders and hustlers who were not afraid of the world.

 

Now that she raises her son in a single-parent household with her at the helm, she admits how that can expose him to unilateral parenting, which can sometimes be an issue.

 

“As I am raising my son, I see that I sometimes find difficulty because there are certain things that I feel I can’t teach him. So I always try to get uncles, friends, other fathers, and even other parents at his school who live in two-parent households to expose him to both sides,” adding also that most of the things that her son is curious about stem from the fact that she is his primary influence as his mother.

 

“I want him to be expressive in who he is while also exposing him to other men, men that I trust and look up to, so he gets a different perspective and not just my perspective,” she adds.

 

With five sisters who are all married, Busiswa has the privilege of five brother-in-laws who are always ready to take her son to either haircuts or biking; any way they can be active in his life. Which speaks to the power of having a village.

 

“I haven’t had any conversations with him about our single-parent household because I honestly feel like 6-years-old is still too young, but I do have conversations with my peers about what kind of children we want to raise and what we should do to achieve that. One of the many things we prioritize is church, and although I don’t get to go to church every Sunday, my son does with my people.

 

“I think as he grows older, we will certainly prioritize having those conversations,” she said.

 

Busiswa also shares that throughout her life on earth, she has met a lot of women who have missed out on a lot of opportunities because they had to raise their children, “but I don’t want to be that. I do not ever want to blame my son for the things that I could not do. I must only have myself to blame, so in order for that to be possible, I need the people who hold me together. I need his grandparents to show up, I need his dad to show up, and everyone has to play their part,” adding also that she had to learn to never be afraid to ask for help.

 

Describing the past 6 years with her son, Busiswa dubs it as a pure blessing that leaves her in awe of her son.

 

Drawing inspiration from her hard-working, intellectual mother and grandmother, who shaped who she is, she hopes her son becomes 100 times more what she is today.

 

“I don’t want my son to struggle as much as I did. I’ve been homeless before; my mother’s late; my grandmother is late; at the moment, I have no parents and that has placed me in a position of always hustling because I only have me.

 

“So I don’t want him to know what it’s like to be hungry and not know where to find food. I don’t want him to sleep at a bus station because I don’t think it is necessary to suffer. I just want him to find joy and meaning in life. I’ve been in abusive relationships; I don’t want him to go through those things, and that’s the stuff that matters more to me right now. Being there for him means he always has something to hope for, fight for, and look forward to, so he becomes a joy to the world,” she said.

And as a new-age mom, Busiswa acknowledges that our parents had to fight a lot and therefore did not have the time to invest in the emotional side of things. But we, on the other hand, are afforded time and space to plough back into our children because of the different times that we live in. And this is a priority for her.

 

On a lighter note, she shares that her son has only discovered now that his mommy is famous, and it is so funny to witness.

 

“I started going to the mall with him recently, and I think this one time, after seeing the amount of interactions I have with people, he said, ‘Guci (my nickname), is everyone your friend? Why do all these people know you? (LOL).

 

“And then he started discovering my songs because he now has his own YouTube. He asked me once, ‘Where did you learn to sing?’

 

“So this year, I caught him pretending to record a Youtube video because he thinks he’s a Youtuber, and he said, ‘Hey guys, welcome to my Youtube channel. This is my mom; she’s famous’, or he’d introduce himself as Busiswa’s son and Kg’s son. So he is grasping the idea,” she said.

 

Overall, being a mother for Busiswa has been a journey of fulfilling a greater purpose, where you start understanding that your legacy will affect generations to come.

 

“It is very personal and is the greatest love of all,” she concluded.