Popular press has been pushing the “supermom” agenda for many generations. According to the media, motherhood is joyously fulfilling; and if you’re not always feeling that way about your journey as a mom, you must be doing something wrong. Most moms will agree their little ones are the most precious beings in the world. However, the motherhood journey is not always roses and sunshine.

 

Mom guilt can be defined as the pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent. It is a feeling of failure caused by thinking you’ve made a parenting mistake or haven’t performed well enough as a mother. It can be rooted in and influenced by factors such as:

• Choosing not to breastfeed your little one
• Having to go back to work postpartum
• Being annoyed by your little one
• Asking someone else to look after them
• Not being able to spend every minute of the day entertaining them

 

Identifying the root of your mom guilt will make it easier for you to tackle it. If you feel a guilt trip creeping up on you, it is important to remember the following:

 

There is no such thing as a “perfect mom.”

 

Moms are people, and people are imperfect. To overcome mom guilt, you have to learn to accept you will probably make parenting mistakes—and that is okay. It’s also important to dispel any idyllic myths you had about parenting before embarking on the journey. No one knows your living situation better than you do, and chances are, you also know what’s best for your little one better than anyone else. The decisions you make for them and their well-being are from a place of genuine love, which is all that matters. It is okay to call your little one’s babysitter when you need a break from looking after them all by yourself.

 

Stop comparing yourself to other moms.

 

Comparison is the thief of joy. Despite this universally known fact, social media has made it so difficult for us not to compare ourselves to others. With so many “mommy influencers” posting videos of themselves and their bundles of joy doing Pinterest-inspired crafty projects, it’s difficult not to feel like you’re slacking as a parent. However, it is important to catch yourself whenever you start comparing your motherhood journey to that of strangers. You couldn’t spend the entire day playing with your little one because you had to go to work. That is okay. We all live different lives with different circumstances. Therefore, our parenting styles and journeys will not be the same.  

 

Avoid judgemental people.

 

Judgement doesn’t only come from ourselves, but from other people as well. As we have already established, parenting is not easy. With that said, it is important to avoid surrounding yourself with judgemental people. For example, if you choose not to breastfeed your little one, then avoid being around people who’ll try to guilt-trip you for it. There isn’t a proven manual when it comes to parenting. The best way to handle the nay-sayers is simply avoiding them. This will give you an opportunity to listen to your own voice and do what you feel best suits you and your precious little one.

 

Celebrate your accomplishments.

 

Patting yourself on the back after accomplishing a parenting goal is very important. It can even be something as simple as bathing your little one on time for that day. We spend so much tearing ourselves down for the characteristics that we lack or the mistakes that we’ve made to a point where we sometimes forget to celebrate our wins. Ensuring you applaud yourself for all your accomplishments will help you build a track record of your good work as a parent. This will help comfort you on days when you feel like the worst parent in the world.

 

Forgive yourself.

 

Moms make mistakes, just like everyone else. It is important to acknowledge your mistakes and find healthy ways of dealing with them. Instead of beating yourself over your mishaps, learn from them. Yes, you were secretly annoyed when your toddler spilt juice all over the floor, but that doesn’t make you a terrible mom. Instead of dwelling on it, acknowledge your feelings because they’re completely valid since you’re only human.

 

If you are struggling to escape the relentless grip of mom guilt after trying out everything, seeking professional help is a good option. There’s no shame in that, especially if it will be beneficial for your well-being.

 

When experiencing mom guilt, it’s also important to remember you are an individual aside from being a mom. Children eventually grow up and become independent of constant supervision from their guardians. Taking time out for yourself and expressing your personhood will ensure you have a sense of purpose when your little one is no longer fully dependent on you.

 

Being a mom is a challenging yet rewarding experience. You are faced with difficult situations and tough decisions on a regular basis; this could leave you physically drained and mentally frustrated. It is important to remember that mom guilt is not based on reality. It is a result of being self-critical, which is caused by unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves.