When a female zebra is going to give birth, it is said that she will separate herself from the herd, once the foal is born and this gives them a chance to bond and learn each other’s scent and stripe patterns.

 

This profound act is similar to how in African cultures, a mother is often required to self-isolate for three months – aways from the world to not only bond with her child but also heal and protect their young one. 

 

This sacred practice is observed by many cultures and is dubbed as go ilelwa ngwana in the sePedi language.

 

And while this is a widely known practice, many don’t fully understand the gravity and the importance of it. Like with 27-year-old Neontle Mogomotsi who said it only dawned on her of how crucial it was when she had to isolate with her now five month old son for the first three months of his life. 

 

The importance of keeping certain cultural practices made sense to her when the reality now faced her square in the face, and looking back now she wishes all mothers would recognise the importance and the power of solitude. 

 

 

 

 

“It only made sense to me six weeks after spending that alone time with my son. But before that, I really thought I would fall into depression because I didn’t fully understand it nor did I immerse myself in it. 

 

“Prior to my experience of pregnancy, I would always judge this practice. I saw it as an unrealistic and unnecessary process because it came with giving up so much. One’s free time, one’s life and just being cooped up in a room with your child. It looked difficult and it is difficult but man, in hindsight, it was all worth it,” she said. 

 

Although the entire pregnancy was seamless for the new mommy, who hails from Rustenburg and currently resides in Midrand, the biggest lessons came as she sat quietly with her growing son reflecting on life. She now has a different view on things, on life and on realising the importance of raising a human being. 

 

During this time, Neotle was not allowed in any other room except the one designated for her, with her only leaving the bedroom to only go to the loo. Either than that, she stayed cooped up and would ‘ring’ for help when she needed it. This meant filling her time with reading, praying and reflecting.

 

 

 

 

“That alone time is so powerful,” she adds with giggles in between. 

 

“Times have changed, yes but traditions remain. Time out after having your baby is very important. To allow yourself to heal, also allow your child to adjust to the world, especially with how sensitive they are. It is a mother’s responsibility to guide that growth process that follows. 

 

“Our parents knew best and listening to them honestly makes sense. When we all look at ourselves, today we are grown ups because of how our parents raised us. Their advice is still very pertinent in our times. Yes, google has a lot of information but tradition still applies. Tradition still works in our times and I saw it work for me.

 

“This thing of giving birth today and in three days you are walking around the mall trying to look sexy and take content for everybody to see that you are a hot mommy is not worth it,” adding that she has bonded with a baby in ways that have made motherhood all sorts of magic. 

 

“My son knows me. At five months, he almost senses me as I walk into the room and that is another kind of love. Apart from him, in my quiet time I got to really learn so much about myself and saw God work in my life.”

 

 

 

 

Neontle, which means a beautiful gift, has been gifted with a beautiful gift that she didn’t know she longed for.

 

She did fall into the common pattern of forgetting about herself and only focusing on her son, but quickly shifted gears out of that and is learning how to balance both worlds.  Her motherhood, so far, has been a beautiful ride for her. 

 

“I love being a mother. I enjoy raising my son. I really think every woman deserves this kind of joy in their lives because bringing life into earth is so rewarding. I would never trade it for anything,” she said.