Being a mother to Spesihle can thus far be described as a journey, says 24-year-old YouTube sensation Tumi Moliko.

The 24-year-old has boldly shown off her journey as a mother, from finding out to raising her precious son, and while social media allows a peek into what has given others “baby fever,” the reality is that “motherhood is no joke,” she said. The creative lets us in on the real tea of what its been like for her stepping into the shoes of a ‘mother’.

 

“I feel like a real mother now. I mean, I have been able to raise a child until one year in one piece,” she said, giggling.

 

A year and a couple of months in, Tumi has had to redefine what motherhood means to her. And making it fun has been at the helm of her aspirations. But what she never anticipated was how her mental health would take a dive in trying to figure out this stage of her life.

 

“At the beginning of the newborn stage, there was a lot of pressure on my shoulders, and recording content was not top of mind for me. That phase was a very difficult one for me because I was fixated on trying to be a very good mom while also trying to figure myself out, and soon enough I found myself battling postpartum depression,” she shares.

 

Postpartum depression is defined as occurring in or being the period following childbirth.

 

That phase came just as she had digested the fact that she was indeed pregnant and had to fan off feelings of being scared and nervous about what people would think. Sphe, as he is fondly referred to by his mother, was born prematurely, which meant spending a whole week in a NICU.

 

“Finding out that I was pregnant came at a time when I was super relaxed and I was just living life for myself. I had just graduated from Wits and I was easing myself into what it was that I wanted to do next. So being pregnant meant having to grow up quickly and reevaluating everything from my finances to even my beliefs—as to the kind of values I want to instill in him. A lot just changed,” she said.

 

Tumi was raised as the only child to her mother, and because of that, she spent a lot of her time by herself. Contrary to many kids with a lot of time on their hands, Tumi did not have a lot of friends. That alone time led her to pick up a camera to start vlogging as a pastime, but that soon led to a career that she is not now widely known for.

 

Tumi has always envisioned herself as a young mother but never really knew when that time would be. All she knew was that being a mother was on the cards for her, as someone who always took care of her younger cousins, being comfortable around children, and genuinely having a love for them.

 

But as she navigated this part of her life, her mental health became the major point of concern.

 

“I remember days when I would wake up and I’d feel so sad or even overwhelmed by my own emotions. Yes, the feeling of being overwhelmed is mostly associated with motherhood because the journey itself is not easy, but it got to a point where it was concerning. I was struggling with why I wasn’t enjoying motherhood for those couple of months,” she shared.

 

Being young and inexperienced, while also trying to figure herself out, were some of the contributing factors to her depression. So while we are privy to the loud, energetic Tumi on camera, she had a lot of silent battles that she’d had to conquer to get herself to a place that is healthy for raising a child.

 

To do so, Tumi sought out help and spent a week in Cape Town for therapy daily and learning more about ways of maintaining good mental hygiene.

 

“So when he turned 1-year-old, I was really emotional because I couldn’t believe that through it all, I managed to raise a child to that point. And to some it might be minor, but with the daily challenges facing me head-on, that one-year mark meant the world to me. Because there were times when I genuinely questioned my own capabilities, living alone and making it this far. The other part of it was just reflecting on how far we came, being proud of myself as well that I was able to go through it all,” she said.

 

Motherhood, for Tumi, means sacrifice—something she witnessed in how her own mother raised her. Making sure she has all she needs while also dominating her own career path. Tumi shares that she aspires to be all that and more to her son.

 

“I want to raise a respectful young man who respects women, who carries himself well, takes care of himself, is disciplined and is educated. A well-rounded human being who lives out all his potential,” said the doting mom.