Life with children is joyful, messy, and beautifully chaotic. But amid school runs, sleepless nights, and the never-ending to-do list, romance can easily slip to the bottom of the priority pile. The truth is, love needs intentional care to thrive — especially in the parenting years. Here are five realistic ways to keep the spark alive without waiting for “one day” when things slow down.

1. Schedule Intimacy Like It Matters (Because It Does)

Many couples resist the idea of scheduling intimacy, worrying it will feel forced or unromantic. But in reality, putting it in the diary ensures it actually happens. Think of it as making time for something important — because it is. Life with kids doesn’t leave much room for spontaneity, so plan those moments, protect them, and look forward to them the same way you would a special outing.

2. Small Touches Matter All Day Long

Physical intimacy isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom — it’s built in the little moments. A lingering kiss before leaving for work, a hand on the small of your partner’s back while cooking, or even holding hands while walking to the shops can create connection. These small touches say, “I see you, and I’m here,” even in the busiest of days.

3. Have Grown-Up Conversations

When every discussion revolves around nappies, school fees, or grocery lists, your relationship can start to feel more like a business arrangement. Make time for conversations that feed your connection — talk about dreams, memories, books you’ve read, or something that made you laugh. Emotional intimacy is fuel for romantic connection, and it thrives when you remember you’re partners, not just co-parents.

4. Stop Waiting for Big Moments

Romance doesn’t have to be grand or expensive. While anniversaries and birthdays are wonderful, they can’t be the only time you celebrate each other. Surprise your partner with a cup of coffee in bed, leave them a note in their bag, or share a dance in the kitchen after dinner. Small, everyday gestures often carry more weight than one big event once a year.

5. Share the Parenting Load

It’s hard to feel close to someone when you’re running on empty and drowning in responsibilities. When one partner shoulders the majority of parenting duties, resentment can grow — and resentment is a romance killer. Sharing the load, both practically and emotionally, helps each partner feel supported and valued. A relationship thrives when both people feel like they’re in it together.

Parenting is a team sport, but so is love. Keeping romance alive isn’t about perfection or grand gestures — it’s about staying connected in the everyday moments. Because when your relationship is strong, your whole family benefits.