Ten moments that changed my heart, taught me courage, compassion and, finally, peace.

By Lynn Forbes

If there’s one thing life has taught me, it’s that we are shaped as much by what happens to us as by how we choose to respond.

Looking back, I see ten moments that shaped the woman I am still becoming. Each took something. Each gave something in return.

 

1. When Childhood Changed

One of the earliest moments to shape my life wasn’t a choice.

 

Being sexually abused as a child changed the way I saw myself and the world. For years, I carried fear and shame that were never mine to carry.

 

Healing taught me that what happened to me did not define my worth. It also taught me to notice the pain people often hide behind their smiles.

Perhaps that is where my empathy began. Sometimes our deepest wounds become the place where our greatest compassion begins.

 

2. The Day I Became a Mother

 

I was nineteen when I became a mother. I was still finding my own way in the world while suddenly being responsible for another life. In many ways, I grew up alongside my children.

Motherhood taught me responsibility, sacrifice and unconditional love. When my second son was born, I discovered that love doesn’t divide. It multiplies.

 

My sons shaped the woman I became and taught me that some of life’s greatest moments are found simply in loving someone with your whole heart, unconditionally.

 

3. Choosing to Begin Again

 

Choosing divorce wasn’t simply choosing to end my marriage. It was choosing to meet myself again.

I had to grieve the life I thought I would have and slowly build one that was authentically mine.

 

For the first time in a long time, I began asking what I wanted, what I needed and who I was outside the roles I had lived for 20 years.

 

Choosing to begin again taught me that endings can be painful, even when we choose them. It also made me more compassionate towards the struggles we don’t always see in others.

 

Sometimes letting go of the life we imagined is how we begin discovering the life that is truly ours.

 

4. Crossing Finish Lines

Walking and completing marathons and ultramarathons showed me what I was capable of.

 

I completed numerous events of up to 50 kilometres, each requiring physical endurance, mental strength and determination.

 

Those long hours on the road taught me resilience and a lesson I still carry today: extraordinary things don’t have to happen quickly.

 

Life is lived one step at a time.

 

5. A New Kind of Love

 

Becoming a grandmother opened my heart to an entirely different kind of love.

But it also awakened something in me.

Holding my granddaughter made me think about the little girl I had once been, and about the parts of my own story I had kept silent for so long.

 

I began to understand that if I wanted her to grow up knowing the importance of her voice, I had to find the courage to use mine.

I didn’t speak out immediately. That would come later.

But becoming her grandmother planted the seed.

Sometimes a new life doesn’t only change the future. It asks us to look differently at our past.

 

6. The Journey Back to Me

That awakening stayed with me, but I still needed to find the courage to act on it.

In 2016, I did something I had never done before: I travelled outside South Africa on my own.

Destination: Zanzibar.

I thought I was travelling to an island. I didn’t realise I was travelling back to myself.

Zanzibar became about saying yes to life, trusting myself and understanding forgiveness.

When I returned home, something had shifted. Slowly, I found the courage to speak about my childhood sexual abuse and finally find my voice.

Finding my voice wasn’t one brave moment. It began with becoming a grandmother, grew through a journey I took alone, and eventually became the courage to tell my truth.

Sometimes the bravest word we can say is “yes.”

 

7. Reinventing Myself

 

What began as an alternative to Granny or Gogo unexpectedly opened the door to an entirely new chapter of my life.

But I made a conscious decision to walk through that door.

I embraced Glammy with intention and began to reinvent myself in a way I hadn’t imagined before. It brought collaborations, partnerships and opportunities to teach, influence and grow in ways I never expected.

It also taught me that I could change direction at any point in my life. Age wasn’t an obstacle. If anything, it meant I arrived at this new chapter with something invaluable to bring to the table: wisdom and experience.

Inviting people into my life also taught me about boundaries.

I’ve learned that being authentic doesn’t mean sharing everything. Some things become more precious when we choose to protect them.

 

8. Standing on Top of Africa

 

Standing on Uhuru Peak at fifty wasn’t simply about reaching the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro.

Standing there changed something in me. It reminded me that age doesn’t define what is still possible.

The mountain taught me that courage isn’t the absence of fear. Sometimes courage is simply taking the next step anyway.

But Kilimanjaro also taught me humility.

Standing on that vast mountain, I was reminded of how small we are in the bigger picture. How little we control. And how much there is beyond ourselves.

I came down from that mountain understanding two seemingly opposite truths:

We are small.

And yet, we are capable of extraordinary things.

 

9. Devastating Loss

 

Nothing can prepare a mother for losing a child.

It divided my life into before and after.

It left me forever altered.

For a while, grief broke my spirit. It changed me in ways I am still discovering and deepened my compassion for the pain people quietly carry.

It also taught me that love doesn’t cease to exist simply because someone is no longer fully present.

It simply changes the way we carry it.

 

10. The Simple Things

For much of my life, I believed love meant carrying everything.

Other people’s pain, expectations and responsibilities.

Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of myself.

I’ve learned that there is a profound difference between responsibility and control. Letting go isn’t giving up. Sometimes it’s how we protect our peace.

And slowly, I’ve begun to understand that even after devastating loss, life can still hold something beautiful. There can still be hope. There can still be joy. There can still be moments that make us feel alive.

 

Today, I find those moments in the simple things: morning walks, a cup of tea, time in nature, meaningful conversations, small gestures, feeling seen, feeling cherished and simply being present.

I no longer measure my life by what I achieve, but by the intention I bring to living it … peacefully and fully, accepting that life will continue to bring challenges along the way.